What can I write about when 49 states are protesting, the country is at war, innocent people are being brutally murdered by the very people that are supposed to protect us, and our leader is an incompetent, evil, impotent piece of shit? I am emotionally, mentally, psychologically exhausted. I am functioning at a high level of anxiety. I feel grief, anger, hopelessness, frustration. I feel like I am a maniac. I feel full of hatred and toxicity. Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK. Are you OK? I am so sorry that we are all experiencing this. I am so so sorry. Please know that no matter what, you are experiencing this in your way. There is no binary - right or wrong. Just your own, unique way. Feel your feelings. Reach out to whoever you need to reach out to. Watch your shows. Drink your drinks. Take care of yourself. Please. And know that I am here, feeling all of the feelings, and I am here for you.

I am holding all of my anguish in my chest, my heart chakra. Perhaps my heart is broken right now. It is certainly feeling abused. For me, it is hard to not turn the anxiety inward and feel all fucked up. How is it for you? How are you coping with all of this? Truly, all of this is too much.

The answer, the antidote, is compassion. Self-compassion eludes me much of the time. It is hard for me to locate my self-compassion. But I am trying. I am doing the best I can do. That is all anyone can ask of any one of us. I am not perfect. I am still practicing. All of the time. I’ve made a serious decision. I will start a daily meditation practice. Starting tonight. Join me. Breathe. And be. And cultivate that elusive, beautiful beast - compassion. We can do it together!

Sending so much love to all of your hearts. I love you.

puh-puh-puh