July 14, 2019

I hate the night before because I am nervous and anxious. Anticipation anxiety is my familiar. But the night before is how we get to the day of, so it has to be.

I am excited to see what I will have to show and share. I packed my journal and my new gratitude workbook. I am still exploring my beliefs and strengths as a witch. It is a slow process, but one that I am excited to dive into and go deep. In my extreme hippy days, my witchiness was stronger. I want to make it strong again.

We finished Stranger Things. No spoilers here, but if you want to chat with me about it, you can.

puh-puh-puh

love you

July 13, 2019

A Boy and His Dog. Hot Light. July 13, 2019

Today was a day. Up early, can never sleep before a big trip. I did my old trick, I listened to Parks and Rec on my phone. That always lulls me back to sleep. Not because it’s boring, but because I know all of the episodes by heart. Soothing. So, instead of getting out of bed at 6:00am, I got up at 7.

I did a lot of packing today, which was exactly what my nerves needed me to do. The boys are all packed. I am mostly packed. Toiletries still need to be packed. Also, my camera with all of my tech gear needs to get packed. So hard to travel light when you’re a photographer.

It’s just the boys and moi tonight. Aaron is at the Timbers match. I love never going to Timbers games, it is the best. The boys and I are going to get in my bed and rent a movie. Sunny is here now, lying near my legs. I always want my cats to be lap cats, but I remember when all I wanted was for Vashti to sit next to me, not on my. And now I miss her so much that I cry almost every time I think of her. I still want to rescue a Siamese. And I will. Believe it.

Tomorrow Mom and Kirk will come for bagel brunch. Then, we will need to pull this whole house together, get packed and get the fuck out of here!

July 12, 2019

Glimpses of July. July 12, 2019

Today started with a migraine hangover. This is the new experience in my journey through perimenopause. Shit headaches, then a shit migraine hangover the next day. No one talks about perimenopause and how utterly confusing, annoying, frustrating and crappy it can be. I’m so sorry to say all of this. I hate to put out toxic energy, but for those of you going through this, you will know exactly what I am talking about.

Three days until we leave on our vacation. I have 10,000 lists. Plus so many things to do. I promise I’m excited, I just can’t show it yet. Too many things to do in order to be ready. But I will get it done! My mantra lately has been, “I can do it”, which is such a giant improvement over, “what if I can’t do it”. Right?! Mantras are powerful magic. Use them and you will change your life.

I have to rush this. I want to watch Stranger Things and Aaron fell asleep waiting for me. I will wake him up so we can watch it. (Also, I binge watched most of the first season of Big Little Lies today. It was very excellent and very dark.)

Love, Eden

May 26, 2019

I’ve been looking at this mug for almost 25 years, and even though we are normal human beings that can feel totally sick of one another, I am not tired of him. Yet. (puh puh puh). He makes me laugh. He is loving. Tender. Kind. I can tell him to fuck off and he can totally take it. I appreciate that in him. I can also tell him that I hate his guts, which I never, ever mean, but sometimes he bugs the hell out of me and I need to say it out loud. He absorbs it with kindness and compassion, he accepts me, and knows that I love him even when I’m a total cunty bitch.

I’m sure you’ve noticed that I have not been blogging. I’ve been too fucking fed up with everything. I hate Facebook with a mother fucking passion. It’s evil is insidious and nasty. I also hate hate hate Instagram. Instagram is owned by Facebook. But what the hell else is there for us artists, entrepreneurs, writers, feminists, etc? We need a revolution - a social media revolution - that we will release us from this trap. The revolution needs to take down this administration. Are we angry enough yet? Are we fed up enough yet? If you are not, you must be asleep. Wake the fuck up.

December 20, 2018

I have 2 sisters, between the three of us, we have 5 boys.

I’m ready for winter break to start. So tired. Aaron is quietly snoring next to me. Mayim is on our bed, near my feet because Aaron had turned on the Simpsons. Lavi is in his bed, watching shit on his phone. Tonight we ate at our favorite Thai restaurant, like we do on most Thursdays. We always eat out on Thursdays, mostly at the Thai restaurant, sometimes we switch it up. I like to switch it up, the boys would eat Thai everyday.

It’s time to introvert.

December 18, 2018

Yesterday I learned that a friend from camp passed away. He was 24 years old. This news stunned and shocked me. 24 years old. I send him light and love. I hope he gets it. I didn’t know him very well, but we were in community together. We worked together. It’s hard to know how to feel about this tragedy. I guess i don’t need to know. I just feel sad. Sad for him, sad for everyone who loved him. Sad for his family. I’ll just keep sending them all love.

Today was sunny and super rainy. Lavi stayed home from school, he had and still has a fever of 100. It’s been going around our family, he’s the last to get it. Hopefully we will be done with this crappy germ soon. I think he had his dream come true today, though. He got to sit downstairs, on the couch, all by himself and binge-watch Sabrina all day. The old TV series with Martin Mull. It’s such good, wholesome TV.

Aaron is snoring next to me. I’m going to watch The Daily Show, then read, then go to sleep. I am so ready for winter break. So tired of the alarm going off at 6 am. It is so dark at 6. It’s too early. I am ready to sleep in and chill with the boys. They are ready for break, too. They are exhausted.

Sleep well, my friends. Send everyone you know lots of love.

December 13, 2018

I took a long and much needed break from my blog and from social media. This is my first post since July 6. There is so much on my mind, too much to write here, in this post. Maybe it feels that way because I haven’t posted in so long. Of course there is so much to catch up on, it’s been months.

I just poured my heart out, but it was too much. I deleted it all. There is a fine line I am always balancing on. I want to be honest, but then what if people get hurt along the way? I don’t want to do that. I don’t know how people write their memoir, airing it all out, calling out their parents and friends and everyone. How do they live with hurting everyone around them? Let me know if you have answers for me. I need so many answers.

Today is Thursday. Mayim is home with a cold that I gave him. It’s December already. I don’t know how it is already December. I feel like my feet haven’t touched the ground since last spring. I long to feel grounded and attached and fully familiar with the fact that it is December. I don’t know where my head lives, up in the clouds, that’s where we Pisces naturally live. Everything feels like so much, my children fill up most of my time and my mental energy. And what else? I’m still feeling so many feelings about my last show. And there’s still so much to do with that. I’m moving onto a new project that I am ecstatic about. It’s scary to start something new. There is so much that I don’t know. I have to keep moving forward, it will all reveal itself in time. Being patient is the worst. I’m terrible at it.

I am looking to hire someone to help me with my social media. If you know of anyone, please send them my way.

July 6, 2018

Slices Of Camp. July 6, 2018

July 3, 2018

John's Ice Cream. Liberty, Maine. July 3, 2018

Aaron is back from Boston - he got back on Sunday and we took the boys to John's. Everyone loves this ice cream place, everyone from camp goes there. 

Today was so so so hot and humid. Too hot to think. Too hot to move. I took my third period shibori class to the sprinkler in the backyard to cool down. We were all desperate for a cool down. Tomorrow is going to be hotter! I'm planning on heading to the lake to cool down. I feel like all classes should be canceled and everyone needs to spend the day cooling off in the lake. 

Aaron and I are now upstairs in the peach room, sweating. Yay for summer, I love it! 

June 29, 2018

These Things Happen At Camp. June 29, 2018

Mayim got two bug bites on his left ankle, one in front and one in back, his entire foot swelled up. He couldn't walk, it was red and angry. He had to go to the doctor, he was not a happy camper. The doctor said he was getting better and yesterday he felt much better, today he was almost back to normal. The bites had blisters, the blisters popped and things are healing. He did get to hitch a ride with a PD on the golf cart, so that was cool. 

Also, shibori is totally happening at Timbuktu. My classes are mellow, they are even sewing their designs! I am very impressed! Teaching shibori is my favorite part of camp. 

June 25, 2018

Hamilton, One Year Ago. Hamilton, Today. June 25, 2018

June 24, 2018

Camp Interior. Norm the Dorm. June 24, 2018

For those of you who have not been to sleep away camp, and for those of us who did, but did so as kids, here is what my room looks like at camp. The bed is different than what the kids get, they sleep in bunk beds. But the cubbies are the same. Isn't mine tidy? I am sitting on my bed right now, typing this. It is 9:17 pm and I am ready for bed. It's been really cold at night, so I bought myself a hot water bottle today. I am so excited! How did I not think of this sooner? 

Today I took 2 portraits of every camper. One stays here and one gets sent home to parents. Before this, I did not realize that not all children know how to smile. Some children do not know how. 

Tomorrow is the first day of regular camp schedule I am really happy to have a schedule again. Torpor time will be happening. Today I did not get any down time and I almost cried in the parking lot of Walgreens. Sweet dreams, friends. Love, Eden

June 23 2018

Today was Arrival Day at camp, a day full of excitement, reunions and lots of waiting. It was a lovely, overcast and cool day. Many friendship bracelets were made. Many happy hugs were given. I am now in bed with Aaron. It was a long day for everyone, some kids traveled all the way from Korea and Israel. Camp is an amazing, international community. 

June 22, 2018

Mayim moved into Wombles today! The coolest thing about that is that Aunt Marisa was a camper in Wombles almost thirty years ago. That is an unbelievable legacy! He was the first camper to move in, the kids of Pro Staff get to move in the night before everyone arrives. Mayim loves greeting all of the kids in his cabin on Arrival Day, tomorrow. Arrival day is a long, tedious day where we wait for all of the kids to arrive. It's no one's favorite, but the feeling of being back at camp is a big one. Seeing camp friends after being separated for a year is the best. Camp friends saved my life! You know who you are!!!  Sending you BIG LOVE - your friendship and love changed my life and made me into the woman I am! 

June 21, 2018

This is Camp Road. And today is my first official day, (I showed up 2 days early, by accident, I had the date wrong). Walking into camp on this first day, anything and everything is possible. I know there is hard work ahead of me. Some parts of me are wary and scared and feel overwhelmed, but every once in a while, I feel that camp magic again. Walking to my cabin tonight, the moon is bright, the stars are brilliant, it's cold outside and I could feel that old magic. I am grateful to feel it, still. Today was a lovely day of reunions with old friends, and I'm excited to be making new ones. Every year here is so different. This photograph holds all of the possibilities that newness possesses. 

puh-puh-puh