Camp. Day 3. June 17, 2020

Last night I had a stress dream. I was back at camp. I had to work there for another summer and I did not want to be there. In my dream, I knew it was right before the beginning of the session, when all of the staff is there, but no campers yet. I was already feeling so awkward and so wrong about everything. They had not told me where I was going to live while I was there and I was so stressed about that. Also stressed that they might not give me a place to stay. Aaron was also there, he was going to work at camp as well. But he was angry with me, or completely over me. He wouldn’t give me the time of day. He completely ignored me in front of everyone and I was so embarrassed. So stressful and then I woke up.

I’m continuing to meditate every morning. Tomorrow I will join the meditation group. It feels really good even though I’m terrible at it and it does not always feel good while I am doing it.

Today was Day 3 of camp. I’m really enjoying it, even though my kids show varying degrees of interest. Today we made things out of homemade clay. Mayim made some sculptures and gifts for Aaron for father’s day. I started painting some clay moons I made yesterday. Plus, I started to paint some rocks. I am so exciting about painting rocks! I can’t explain it, but it is soothing and exciting.

Mayim and I went on a lovely bike ride this afternoon. The weather was beautiful today, blue skies, sunny, and warm. It’s amazing how much better I feel on a sunny day. Also, we had out first camp fire tonight. And our first round of s’mores. Delicious s’mores.

I finished up the the next part of cooking class by piping and baking our choux dough. Tomorrow we will make the chocolate mousse and pipe it into the puff pastry I baked tonight.

There’s so much more to talk about, but again, I am too tired to talk about it now. It will keep.

Love you so much.

puh-puh-puh