My body is still healing from that kidney infection. That is crazy. Everything is crazy right now. I had therapy this morning and we talked a lot about these hard fucking decisions we all have to make right now. Should we open up and see people? Do we stay in isolation? What are my mental health needs? How do we make things safe for our children? I can feel my inner spirit rejecting this reality. I feel so much anger and frustration with our country, our president, with many, many people we have to share this planet with. Science deniers. Racists. Nazis. Inconsiderate, selfish people. This is nothing new, I’m often so angry with the world, with people, with this corrupt and evil federal government. So now, we are here, having to make really hard decisions with not enough clarity or information. Without any leadership, plan, goal, direction. I feel this country is in absolute chaos. No one is leading, small people are leading poorly. Some people are leading in a better way, but it is all so disjointed, disconnected. I pray for the day that he loses. I pray pray pray for that day. Enough. Is. Enough.

It’s 9:50 on Wednesday evening. The boys are in a group video game with their friends. We usually watch something together, but I can’t deny them their time with friends. I feel awful for them. This isolation sucks for kids. Fucking crap.

I watched the movie Just Mercy, I really liked it.

The boys and I have been going on bike rides everyday. It’s been really fun. I’m such a nervous mom, always saying “be careful”. I feel like I’m not letting them have fun, but I’m fucking nervous.

Sometimes I think about being at camp. I think it’s because at this time of year, we were there. Sometimes I can feel some sense of longing, but mostly it makes me feel awful to think about camp. Too bad my good memories of camp were tarnished by my recent years there. When I was a counselor, it was a place of safety, comfort, magic. Always beware of seeing behind the curtain. What a disappointment. A heart breaking disappointment.

You might have noticed that I missed two nights of blogging. I am so sorry. I had taken the photos, but I passed out before I blogged. I never, ever fall asleep without remembering, I am shocked that happened two nights in a row. I hope I can still get that chocolate cake.

Mayim said he doesn’t want to shit in the woods. We need to teach him! Pooping in the woods is the best.

Sending you all the love. So much love!

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