This is the apple tree at the very center of Hidden Valley Camp. I'm starting to think about being here again. It's not happening quite yet, first I will be attending a birth, then I'll be in Nashville. After all that, comes camp. But I am starting to think about this place that holds so much magic for me. Every year is a completely different experience, I think this year will be so different from last. For one thing, Dani will not be there first session. He plays a big part in camp for me. I will be missing him. And I will make new relationships, new connections, building on last year's friendships. It is so interesting to be thinking about all of this, just as I did when I was a kid. Going away to sleep away camp changed me in so many big and important ways. I made friends I still cherish. I learned about life outside of Boca. I met my first love. I started to become the person I am now. I am amazed to see how camp is once again playing a new role in my life and most importantly, in the lives of my children. I go to camp so my kids get to have the magic that I had. And there is magic at this camp. This apple tree is at the center of it all and right now I can feel it tugging on my heart. I can't explain it, but I will try.

It has to do with not knowing how the summer will be, the potential is huge. There are so many variables, so many new people to meet. But at the same time, everything is familiar. The buildings are all the same. The Health Lodge, the Dining Hall, the Old Dance Studio, the Hilton, Tipi Village. Also, the smell is always the same. The middle of camp has a distinct smell. The cabins have that cabin smell. The lake has a smell. All of these smells only exist in this one place, at HVC. But every year is so different because many of the people change, so you never know who you will meet and then, many of the people are the same. At night, when I am walking, it is darker than it ever gets in Portland, so you can see billions of stars. More stars than you've ever seen.

I am thinking about the hard work at camp. I am also thinking about Lavi and Mayim at camp. I am thinking about my friends and all of the new friends I will meet. I am thinking about sleeping in the taco bed with Aaron. I am nervous about all of it, I am excited, too. I go through life feeling nervous-excited. I look forward to these in-between times when the apple tree is alone. This is a rare moment. A pause.