Today was a blur. It was really full, but I’m not sure what I did. Let’s see: I woke up a bit early to join a meditation group for the first time, which was really helpful and I learned so much. I am looking forward to meditation in a group more often. Also, my mind does not shut the fuck up. Constant thoughts. Then I think, let it go. Then I think some more. Then I think, let it go. I am new at this, it will take some time.

Then I had lots of texts to answer. Then I talked not the phone with a friend. Then David came over and we social distanced in the garden. Then lunch. Then a walk. Then I gardened. I planted green beans, cucumbers, and chamomile. The golden sage is huge this year, so I cut it back to make room for the chamomile. I used that fresh sage to make smudge sticks. So excited about that. They should be dry and ready in 2-3 weeks. I got to talk with Meghan while I gardened.

Then my tummy fell apart and I had such a bad stomach ache and diarrhea. So sad. But, it did force me to have a nice rest with my heating pad. I read and dozed. Then I watched a show. Resting was nice. Especially since it was Sunday. Then dinner. Aaron modernized our family baked spaghetti recipe so that it was dairy and gluten free. It was fantastic. I loved it. It is comfort food.

Then more resting. Then Queer Eye. Yasssssss. Then scooped some poop. Took my vitamins and got ready for bed. I wanted to get some house cleaning done today, that did not happen. It’s time to change the sheets on all of the beds. Will have to fit that in this week. Plus, I have to fold 50,000 loads of laundry. I meant to do all of that today.

Tomorrow starts our first day of summer break. The boys and I are going to do some things together. It’s all a big experiment. I just can’t stomach the idea of them being on screens all fucking summer. So, we’re going to do some art. Some cooking. Hiking. Etc.

It’s raining now. It’s lovely to be in bed and hear the rain outside. The rain is watering all of my new plants. I still have more gardening to do, which is a good thing.

I feel like I need to be perfect right now and I feel like I am falling way short. Are you feeling that way as well? We are good enough just the way we are. We are. Believe it. Good enough.

Sending you so much love. And all the deep breaths.

puh-puh-puh